A resourceful student is able to solve problems peacefully. Problems can be defined as a conflict, disagreement, fight, difficulty, trouble, worry, struggle or complication.
In the guidance office, students are encouraged to use IPS (independent problem solving). When a conflict occurs, they can share, trade, take turns, ignore, use empathy, move away, use I statements, or sometimes get help. Today I’d like to share 3 words students use to improve communication when there is a problem between two people. These direct words allow children to start a conversation and get to the root of the problem. But, these words only work when children commit to being a genuine listener and agree to looking deep inside themselves. When they blame, point fingers, and resist change, these 3 words are of no value. Both parties must openly share what they would like for the other person to keep, start, and stop doing.
1. KEEP - What do you want your friend to KEEP doing? This allows both parties to look at what is working in the friendship. It might be as simple as “I want you to keep making me laugh.”
2. START - What do you want your friend to START doing? This allows students to brainstorm ideas to improve the friendship. Including, using kind words, helping, smiling, sharing, and listening are just a few verbs children might use to improve friendships.
3. STOP - What do you want your friend to STOP doing? This allows students to see behavior that could be annoying to any friendship. Word such as gossiping, staring, cutting in line, excluding, pushing, or whispering are examples of actions they want to stop. When a student uses the word bullying here, make sure they define the behavior that they want to the person to stop doing.
Tenacious Tim is one of the 26 stories from the Powerful You book. Tim created change in himself by using the 3 powerful words KEEP, START, and STOP. He was willing to listen openly to the other person and see changes he needed to make within himself. Tenacious Tim was glad that he learned at a young age that the only person he could change was himself!
Allow your students to connect with Tenacious Tim by holding this laminated educator card at eye level. Give “turn and talk” time by responding to the journaling questions on the back.
Video of the Week
Watch the video to see how I share the 3 words with students and foster independent problem solving through communication and breathing and stretching. This week's video features Tenacious Tim from Powerful You.
Explore the Powerful You Store
Powerful You! Self-Built Teens Bundle | Printed Book + 26 Digital Posters
26 Letters. 26 Life Lessons. One Meaningful Year with Teens.
Help teens build confidence, strengthen relationships, and develop essential life skills with the Powerful You! Self-Built Teens Bundle.
This ready-to-use A–Z collection combines the printed Self-Built Teens workbook with 26 full-color digital life skills posters, giving parents, counselors, and educators meaningful tools to encourage connection, reflection, and personal growth.
WHAT'S INCLUDED
1. Self-Built Teens Printed Workbook
26 A–Z life skills lessons
Short, relatable stories and turn-and-talk questions
Group activities, positive quotes, reflection prompts, and positive self-talk practice
Mindful chair stretches to encourage movement and release tension
2. 26 Digital Life Skills Posters
One full-color printable poster for every letter A–Z
Standard 8.5 × 11-inch pages
Printable PDF format
Display in classrooms, counseling offices, bedrooms, or calm corners
HOW TO USE THE A–Z PROGRAM
CHOOSE A LETTER: Teach one lesson each week or select a life skill your teens need right now.
DISPLAY THE POSTER: Introduce the skill and keep its message visible.
READ & REFLECT: Use the corresponding story and turn-and-talk questions from the workbook.
CONNECT & PRACTICE: Explore the group activity, positive quote, reflection prompts, and self-talk practice.
BREATHE & STRETCH: Practice the chair stretch in the workbook or enjoy the matching free stretching video on the Powerful You website.
FREE COMPANION STRETCHING VIDEOS
Each lesson has a corresponding free stretching video available in the Self-Built Teens section of the Powerful You website.
IMPORTANT PRODUCT DETAILS
This bundle includes:
One printed Self-Built Teens workbook, shipped to your address.
26 full-color digital life skills posters (PDF), personally emailed to you after your purchase.
The posters are printable on standard 8.5 × 11-inch paper. No physical posters will be shipped.
Free companion stretching videos for all 26 lessons are available on the Powerful You website.
Powerful You — Breathe • Stretch • Life Skills